Briefing: Employees - Part One

We've covered the stores you're going to be searching and what makes them good or bad selections for your attempts. But inside the stores themselves is a whole new ballgame. The people you're going to be dealing with will vary by store, though certain types of them tend to be drawn to specific stores. Consider this a bestiary of sorts, like for a first person shooter. You won't have a gun, but some of them will make you wish you did.

Elderly Bastard - They're old, they've been shoved to the back of the store because they smell, and they've hated you since before you pulled into the parking lot. They're typically men and they hold a spite for you that would kill you if you actually read it's depth. The odds of them getting a copy of the game - or a medic if you're choking - for you are not good at all.

Elderly Angel - Conversely, this specimen is almost always a woman. These are the gentler, kinder evolutions of the Elderly bastard. They've renounced their hateful ways frankly because they know that their time is dwindling and they need to impress the man upstairs. If you see one of these creatures walking around the electronics department, you need to approach them quickly before they die. Be polite and respectful and if you can line one of these gems up with a store that has the game in the back then you are golden.

That Guy You Know - Don't be an asshole and get one of your friends fired from his job. If he has the right connections to hook you up and either certainly won't get let go or doesn't care - spectacular.

That Guy You Really Don't Know - Time to swallow your conscience. You remember his face from high school and he knows your name, but you don't know his. Go home, grab your high school yearbook, figure out who he is and go be buddy-buddy with him for a while and if you find out they have early copies, consider it a one night stand. Hit it, quit it, and you'll be downloading your free rosters in no time.